7 wrong reasons to divorce and what you can do about them

Many people contemplate divorce for the wrong reasons. In any case, if you think you need to divorce because a new crush means you no longer love your spouse, read on.

• Crushes are normal, especially when life is hectic. Make an effort to reconnect with your spouse.
• Start telling him the things you have been telling your crush, and do new things together.

• Boredom is a sign you need to add spice — so do it. Make lists of adventures you can do together.
• Aim to do one new thing, big or small, each day.

• It may be that your spouse is overburdened, and the two of you have sex less often than you would like — or not at all.
• Sex can be a valid reason to divorce, but you should explore several options. For example, is your spouse tired? Are there chores or other things you can do to help? Will he go to counselling and/or a doctor?
• If you divorce without trying to fix underlying issues, you risk them popping up again in future relationships.

• It can be difficult to witness other relationships that seem so much better than yours. Ask yourself how your marriage would look from their points of views — and ask a few people.
• You may be surprised at the positive attributes they list. Make a list of your own as well, and provide solutions for problems.

• Make time for each other. Connect one weekend a month.
• Hire babysitters or cleaners, get out of the house and have fun. You can even set up a sex schedule — for example, on Wednesdays and Saturdays.

• Marriages go through ups and downs. You may need to find happiness with yourself first before you can in a marriage.
• Develop your own interests and pursue your own happiness. If your spouse is always ignoring you, ask to reconnect and talk about ways you can make each other happy.

• Open and honest communication is hard, no doubt. Relinquishing secrets and admitting weaknesses are not for the faint of heart. However, it is worth a try. Go to a counsellor.
• Writing your spouse a letter may also be easier than an oral conversation.

Divorce takes time, energy and money. Before you take that drastic step, make sure you're doing it for the right reasons.