Helpful suggestions on caring for ageing parents

As your parents age, you may find yourself in a position to make important decisions about their lives. It can be a trying time for both parents and children, but with a little guidance you’ll be better able to help them.

When it comes to looking after aging parents, one of the most common concerns is ensuring their safety at home. It’s important to put their comfort and well-being first when making decisions about their care. These suggestions will help you choose a caregiver, set up a visiting schedule and keep your parents healthy.

Make sure to do your research before hiring a caregiver.

• Get recommendations, whether you’re hiring an individual or looking at agencies
• Make sure to take your mother or father’s preferences into account

For your parents, assisted living is a period of adjustment, of learning to live with limitations, and accepting the fact that someone will be helping with their everyday activities.

If you find your parents to be genuinely unhappy with the arrangement, talk to an elder care agency about alternatives. Often times, it is a question of personality compatibility and not a caregiver’s capabilities. You want to hire someone you are confident in and who your parents feel comfortable with.

At some point, it’s likely you’ll find yourself struggling with boundaries. Elderly parents may refuse to acknowledge they need assistance, this may result in resentment and frustration when you visit.

• Do your best not to take their behaviour personally — try to put aside your own feelings and read between the lines to understand how they feel
• Decide on a visiting schedule together with your parents — that way they’ll know when to expect you and won't be disappointed when you don't visit

There may be times when your parents don’t want to take their medication or keep their medical appointments.

• Instead of trying to force them to do something, find out where the resistance is coming from
• If you can, talk to their physician about it and see if there's anything he or she can do

Caring for aging parents can be difficult. When deciding how best to look after them, make sure to take their preferences and opinions into consideration.

Keep in mind that the changes taking place in their lives likely require some getting used to. But with a little flexibility and understanding on your part, you’ll be able to help them stay safe and healthy.