5 tips for dealing with parental divorce

When you find out your parents are divorcing, it's an emotional roller coaster, regardless of your age. Here's how to navigate your feelings during your parents' divorce, no matter how old you are.

• If you are a young adult, you may feel that your parents stayed married for your sake when you would rather they divorced when you were a child.
• The bottom line, though? Their divorce is not your fault. They made their own decisions and choices and you should trust them when they say they are doing what they need to do.

• If one parent seems more at fault than the other, you may feel more loyal to the other parent and that is normal.
• Take the time to grieve and to sort through your feelings, and don't let yourself get caught in the middle between your parents. Because you are an adult, your parents may try to treat you as a confidante or ally, which changes the entire authority structure you are used to.
• Assert yourself and say something like, "Mom, I am not comfortable with you saying these things about Dad. I realize he hurt you, and it's unfair, but please find someone else to vent to."

• Withdrawing from friends does a disservice to your overall well being. Take time to mourn, but maintain your connections or build new ones.
• Seek counselling if you need to, and exercise and eat healthfully.

• You may want to know why your parents are divorcing and feel dissatisfied with vague answers. You may feel that you need details to help sort through your confusion; however, you should not make your parents share anything they do not wish to.

• You may be worried that the divorce means that your parents are no longer paying your college tuition or that you are losing your inheritance.
• There is a time and place for everything. While you should not keep quiet about your worries, bring them up appropriately. If you are a college student, it is okay to ask about tuition, but put off inheritance talks and the like until the dust has settled.