5 ways to calm yourself when you're angry

From the office to the home, anger has the power to tear relationships apart and leave people feeling hurt. If you tend to get angry for little reasons, here are five ways to help you stay in control and better articulate your frustrations.

Two common types of thinking can easily act against you. One is when you assume the worst. The other is when you believe that you, other people and life in general have to live up to certain standards. This can lead to disappointment and frustration.

• Stress-inducing thoughts often revolve around irrational beliefs, such as wanting everyone to like you, a fear of disapproval and being overly upset when things don't go your way.

When you identify underlying beliefs such as these, you'll find it easier to counter negative thinking that can add to stress and bring you down.

Although you can't dramatically change your personality overnight , it's entirely possible to dial down angry thinking and behaviour.

• Techniques such as deep breathing are the best place to start.
• Programs using stress management strategies and relaxation training to manage anger have been shown to lower rates of heart attack. Along with controlling stress, researchers believe the same approaches can help to control your blood sugar levels.

Sometimes the only way to keep from blowing your top is to leave the situation that's provoking you until you can calm down.

• Your best bet is to take an exercise break. If it's not possible to physically distance yourself from the situation, distract your mind by counting to ten. It's timeless advice because it really works. How? By shifting activity from the area of your brain that controls emotions to the area that processes logic.

When confronting someone you're angry with, don't immediately launch into a laundry list of perceived faults and slights. Instead, focus on the one thing that's really bothering you – and be sure to figure out what that is before you speak up.

• Say exactly what you would like to see changed to make the situation better. Be concrete and provide tangible solutions for resolving the impasse.
• If you're nervous, you could always write a script and practice the words you want to convey.

It may be tempting to "explain" how another person is being inconsiderate or boorish. But you won't make headway in solving the real issue if the other person is too busy being defensive to listen.

• Insults, whether spoken explicitly or suggested, will only make the other person dig his or her heels in even further. Faced with the same  approach, chances are you wouldn't be very open to discussion, either.
• You'll also help yourself by seeking out the company of positive people and limiting your exposure to negative or irritating people.

Fights with spouses, health problems and money woes – things like these happen to everyone, all the time, so take comfort that you're not alone in this regard. Remember, it's not necessarily what life throws at you that causes stress, but how you respond to the challenges. And while you can't control the former, you can certainly manage the latter. What's more, don't be afraid to seek advice from your doctor or a qualified healthcare professional if you need help managing your stress or anger.